Time for an update?

Yes, I think its time for an update!! Summer has offically came and went! It was a good summer. Didn't do much. Went to soak city a couple times, went to Cedar Point and went glow in the dark putt putt. But mostly hung out at my bestest friend's house, Nathan Bowen!

School started today!  I was excited, I have to admit! But now I'm ready for it to be over!

Working at the rec defitnitely sucked this year, but for reasons only the pool staff and a select others know about! Don't want to get into it, because some eyes may see that don't need to see!

Kevin and I were on bad terms for a good portion of the summer, but we had some long talks and decided we both need to work on a lot of stuff. So now, things are perfect and now he's gonna leave in less than a month!  So, that sucks for me but good for him. I guess the time he's gone, I'm gonna give myself some good quality ME time! Do things that I need to do and have to do. Don't get me wrong, we are definitely gonna make our relationship work while he's there! But I need to do a lot of stuff to work on me and my attitude! I need to work on getting a new job and doing good in school. I also plan on working out a lot more and getting myself back in shape!

Well, short, sweet and to the point! I'm done

Stephanie

I love you Kevin! 

A complete 360.....

Things have made a complete 360 since my last post. My dad is doing amazing! The doctor put him on anitdepressants and he has been in a great mood ever since *knocks on wood* People may not believe that is amazing, but trust me....when you live with someone who doesn't care about life and is ALWAYS in a bad mood, its nice when they actually are! Hopefully they stay that way!

Things with Kevin are still up and down.  But I completely understand. I was probably like that when it got closer for me to graduate! I'm trying to be there for him 100%, but sometimes its hard on me also. I don't want him to leave, but I know he has to. But I have till the middle of September to be with him, so I plan on making the best out of it! I never know what day is my last day to be with him!

Um, prom was this past weekend.  It was amazing, but I still think my senior prom was the best! It was definitely weird not having Nathan, D Hill, and Jake there with us! But we did what we could! Things started off kinda bad, but then they got much better. It was sucked that Ashley got sick.

The rec pool opens up on May 27! I'm so excited! I'm really looking forward to getting out of the Y. I'm planning on looking for a different job for the winter because I don't want to go back to the Y. We'll see what happens.

I've completed my second year of college and I'm still going no where! It really sucks. I got B's in all my classes, so I'm pretty happy about that. I was hoping for A's but oh well. I still plan on going to Owens next year even though I hate the place. I was considering transferring somewhere else, but I don't think I will.

I'm going to Windsor on June 7th. It will be my first time, and I'm really looking forward to it! I hope I don't lose too much money! I also want to go to North Carolina to visit Aubrie, but I don't know if I'll get to! I don't want to take too many days off this summer and its really expensive to get plane tickets!

Well, I guess thats all. Until next time, I'm out!
Stephanie

I love you!

I guess I'll update even though no one reads this anymore. I seriously should just close it down, but I never do.

So, I guess I haven't been myself lately. Things here at home just keep going downhill. There aren't very many people that understand, but its REALLY getting to the point that I can't take it anymore. I wanna move out so bad, but I know my mom can't do this herself. I just can't sit back and watch this nasty disease take over his life. Not a day goes by that he doesn't constantly get worse. He's not doing anything for himself, he's not trying to make things better....he does NOTHING. I don't feel like a daughter anymore, I feel like a caretaker. But most of all I feel like his mother. I do nothing with my life because he can't be here by himself. I just can't do this....I feel so depressed. I guess this is life and people will just tell me to deal with it. So I am. But what really upsets me...is I know I my dad won't be there for me at my wedding (if I get married). And he won't ever be able to see his grandchildren...ever....

Things with Kevin seem to be going downhill. He seems to think things are okay...but I can't help but feel like we're falling apart. I don't want it to. I love him and I always will. But I guess things are this way because of me. I've been keeping a lot of stuff inside and its building up. I need to talk to him....but I can't. We're both so busy. And I guess its starting to hit me, he'll be gone to college soon. Who knows!?

So, I didn't get into the physical therapy program. I knew I wouldn't, but I still feel like I'm a failure. This has been grinding my nerves for so long. I have two classes left before I have no more to take. I hate school. I dunno...just forget it!

I'm done.

To Kevin:

"Far Away"

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

I love you Kevin!

3 years March 4....lets make it last, forever!

I don't really feel like updating, but I kinda figure everyone is getting tired of reading that post! I'm tired of looking at all the same comments!

Not much has happened since my last post. Christmas break is over and it was great while it lasted! Christmas definitely treated me well! My parents went to Kevin's house Christmas eve! Very nervous about that one (*Kevin knows what I mean*). But things ended up turning out very well!  My parents didn't do anything stupid (*especially dad*)

I got a new cell phone! Its amazing! It has an mp3 player and it has a camera! Finally I'm up to date with things! Too bad no one calls me!  

Classes stared and are going alright! I had to drop one class, but I plan on picking one up at Terra! I hate both places! I just can't seem to find a college I like!

I MIGHT be moving out next year! It will more than likely be a definite yes if I get accepted into the PTA program at Owens. I just have to get waaaaayyyy head of my car payments! So, I am officially opening my "Help Stephanie out fund" Just make checks payable to me or send me the money to my home address (*If you don't have it, just ask*)!

Kevin and I are awesome, still! I only hope things stay that way and we can continue to make things work once he goes to OSU! I'll miss him like crazy, but hopefully our love stays strong!

Well, I guess that's all! I expect lots of comments!

I love you Kevin!
*3-04-03* almost 3 years and going strong!